I miss Teenstreet.

But that's not the only thing I miss.

There's something I'm going to miss much more than Teenstreet.

Why doesn't it hurt as much as I thought it would?

Maybe its just cos I'm a little numb.

But you made me feel something I haven't felt in a really long time.

The sheer joy of being near most of the time is just immediately replaced by the thought that you're leaving soon.
The imminent fact that you won't be here much longer.
It kills me every time I think about it.
Its kills me even more that you don't know.

Yet I still want to cherish every moment spent with you, thinking about you
And its almost as if you're haunting me
Because I close my eyes and you're there.

A part of me keeps saying that it won't work out.
That I'll only end up breaking my heart yet again.

But another part of me says that we were destined to meet.
The things that led up to how we met.
Ever since I met you, I've changed.

Maybe right now my body's trying to tell myself not to overexert myself with thoughts of infatuation and stuff like that.
Maybe that's one of the reasons even though my heart is screaming at my every being to tell you how I feel.
Because I might end up picking up the pieces again.

I know deep down I'm sad, but I'm suppressing it.
I'm trying so hard to find a way to work around all the obstacles.
But I keep hitting dead ends.

And I ask myself again.
Why?
Why?
Why?

Why am I so blind as to see God let me meet you?
Why am I holding back?
Why is it so hard for me to look you in eyes and tell you how I really feel?

When I do tell you, I hope you feel the same way too.
I fear so much that my world would come crashing down.
Or someone might beat me to it.
I have to do it.



Or I'll never forgive myself.