The last time.

Its funny don't you think?
How every time we go out into the world, be it at school, college, or even hanging out with friends, we put on a mask.
A mask which hides who we truly are.
Just for the sake of fitting in, we sacrifice what makes us unique just to be accepted.
But the truth is, how can you expect people to accept you if you don't accept yourself?
We as a youth cell, as ChristClan, invite you to let this be the last time you put on a mask to face the world.

If you're reading this, you're invited to The Last Masquerade.

Its happening next Saturday at 7.30 pm.

Dresscode: For guys, semi-formal with black tie and mask
for girls, dress with mask

There will be food, fun and games and you just might learn a little something about yourself, so you don't want to miss out!

Tickets are RM 15 each

for any bookings or inquiries,
feel free to use the chatterbox on the side or contact me at: 0162047266

Take me back to when it all fell apart.

Personal note to self: don't spend too much time on detail during art.
3 hours is just not enough.
And I shouldn't have drawn the Space Marines from Dawn of War.
Finishing the sketches alone took me an hour and a half...
Cos Desmond and I dropped Perdagangan, we got to go to the library to "study".
Studies turned into a chat with Pn Aliza,
a chat with Pn Aliza turned into an hour-long discussion about our futures and that turned into a visit to the couselling room.
Then we consulted Pn Chang and we got another talk.
All these discussions and talks about your future may bore you and the thought that these teachers don't understand you at all, but contrary to popular beliefs they really do know a lot.
They shed some light on a lot of things we didn't know about.
So in retrospect, dropping Perdagangan was a blessing in disguise!
Got home today...pretty stoned la
I'm beginning to get sick of instant noodles.
Fell asleep and by the time I woke up it was seven.
I hate waking up stoned.
The weather is beginning to get to me la.
On a different note, I should be studying Prinsip Akauns and History.
Akauns can study but its so friggin hard to remember some stuff.
History from the beginning was a failure so nevermind.
Was thinking a lot today. About a lot of things.

Earlier this year things seemed like they were well on their way to making 09 one of the best years of my life.
But it all changed slowly. And it was a turn for the worse.
I've lost so much and if I don't do something soon, I'll lose even more.
Now its all about damage control.
I'm trying so hard to salvage what I have left.
I'm trying so hard to move on.
I'm trying so hard to erase memories that should have never been made.
Trying so hard to hold onto the memories that are all you have left of someone.
Trying so hard to make whatever sense I can amidst all this chaos.
And while I'm doing all that, I hang on to my sanity.






These thoughts of you hang just like pictures, gathering dust over time.

-Bk-

Across the universe.

Tuition today was long.
Not boring, just long.
Going over form 4 akauns work can be pretty tedious sometimes.
Wei Lun followed me from Oasis to a quaint little hokkien mee store near the care dealers.
Came back home today and it was pretty quiet.
Watched Across the Universe while eating dinner.
It was pretty cool, how for almost every important plot point in the movie, there's a song from the Beatles.
This one particularly caught my attention.



Hey jude, dont make it bad.
Take a sad song and make it better.
Remember to let her into your heart,
Then you can start to make it better.

Hey jude, dont let me down.
You have found her, now go and get her.
Remember to let her into your heart,
Then you can start to make it better.

-Bk-

Saying goodbye's always hard.

Its been more than a week since you left me and the rest of us here.
Its been more than a week since my world came crashing down and my heart was shattered.
Its been more than a week since I cried till I couldn't sleep.
Its been more than a week and I still can't get used to the idea that you're not around any more.
Its been more than a week, so I guess I'm ready to talk about it now.

One week ago, I lost someone I held close to my heart.
He was more than just a dog, he was more than just a pet.
He was my friend.

Cuddles.

I still don't understand why you had to leave us.
I still don't understand why you had to leave me.
Not a day goes by where I don't wonder why what happened that day happened.
I try so hard to hold on to the memory of you.
I try so hard not to mourn your passing, but to cherish your life.
I try so hard to hold back my tears when I think about you.

I'm sad, but at the same time I'm happy.
Sad that you're gone forever, but happy that all your pain went away.
So I have a few words to say to you.


Thank you for loving me Cuddles.



God give me strength.

-Bk-

No, not this time.

I've decided to make a pledge to myself.
I am not going to cheat at ALL from now on.
No matter what.
Shit.
Now I'll have to study twice as hard.
By the way for those of you in 5 penaga, lol that means I can't help you in english either.
argh....
Gotta go hit the books.
I'll not be updating till exams are over.





And I would gladly hit the road,
get up and go if I knew,
that someday it would lead me back to you.

-Bk-

I hate days like this.

Sejarah notes not done yet....
Art project not done yet....
Have to study my ass off....
Cos I sure as heck can't cheat this time.

Gah.
I hate days like this.
Mental note to self: try not to wake up close to 12.
On an unrelated note, mother's day's tomorrow.
Going to surprise her in the morning.

Its going to be one heck of a week.




somehow I'm beginning to realise where I went wrong.

-Bk-

The Last Masquerade.

This is gonna be another great event by my youth cell, Christ Clan.
Details are on the poster and if you've got any questions or you need more details , just go to our event page here.
You guys had better hurry and make your bookings as soon as possible as we've only got 180 plus places!

-Bk-

Words strung together by a red thread.

I know I said no more brooder posts, but what the heck la. Not like she's going to read it. And Cher Haow if you're reading this you know what to expect at the end of the post.


Looking at the way things are, nothing much's changed.

Things are all still working the way their supposed to.
The birds still fly and sing, the water still runs in streams and rivers, the homework is still aplenty, the food we eat is still good and the air we breathe still gives us life.

But there's one thing that has changed.

I used to say a broken heart refines you. I'm trying to be a testament to those words.
Those of us who don't understand our past mistakes are doomed to repeat them.
But having said that, where did I go wrong?
I'm still looking for a reason as to why all this happened.
As to why my heart was shattered all over again.
As to why I have to slowly and painfully pick up the pieces again.

I thought a distraction would help, but how wrong was I.
Distractions are only temporary escapes for people to turn away from the reality of what was, what is, and what's going to be.
I have to face the reality that it still hurts no matter how much I try to convince myself that it doesn't.

I've been thinking a lot lately.
About fate. About destiny.
Thinking about how I'm supposed to figure out what mine is. Its a daily struggle mind you.
Then this thought came to mind.

We're all searching for something.

Some of us search for things to help justify our existence.

Some of us search for things to help complete our lives, to fill that dark empty void in our heart.

Some of us search for solace and tranquility amidst all the chaos in the world.

Some of us search for the other truth.

I found it in you.



Trying to be a testament to my own words is not easy when you're around

-Bk-

Moosic.

Ever since watching 'Secret', I've been listening to dam a lot of classic piano.
Couldn't get enough of it.
So just imagine how I felt when I found a cupboard full of old classical music cds.
The great thing about them is, even though one song can take up 7 minutes, its only 1 kb!

0.0

Gah dam bored now la don't know what to update.
oh yea...

MANU's GOING TO ROME!!!!!!

It was soooo worth waking up at 2.30 this morning to watch the match.
My condolences to the Arsenal fans in my class la...kesian Naim and Fariz.
But when they say victory is sweet, it truly is.
Exams are next week.
I'm blogging when I should be studying.
The panic hasn't kicked in yet...maybe it will soon.
Better study my ass off this weekend.





how'd the hell we wind up like this?

-Bk-

No cartoons, no life.

Was having a discussion with my brother today.
He thinks most teens nowadays are in such a hurry to grow up,
they forget the simpler pleasures in life like for instance - cartoons.
Especially ones like Chowder from cartoon network.

Its one of those rare toons where you see some of the most original shit and jokes that'll make you laugh your ass off....
ah...was just bored couldn't think of anything else to post up.

Oh yea by the way,
get well soon Sherwin!

-Bk-

Happy belated to yoo!

Happy birthday mum!

This post was supposed to be up last night, but was too full.
Got home after worship practice was pretty tired, but dad still showed me his present to mum - a netbook.
Yea I know.
Kinda sexy looking don't you think?

Mom came home after her manicure and we went to shogun for dinner.
They served a complimentary steamboat...it didn't taste that good.

Green tea

Sushi!!!! This is one of those rare occasions where I eat fish.

No japanese meal's complete without tempura

California roll

Crabsticks, beef tatayaki, and salmon. :D

2nd round.

And dessert, honeydew sago.

Went for a walk around ou to let the food settle along with my younger bro, then we decided to surprise mom.
You have no idea how hard it is to find a lighter in ou when you need one.
Came back to the restaurant all out of breath.

Lol dad.

He was keeping the light from going out...there was a huge fan near our table

Mum and Basil


Don't know what I'd do without you mum.
Love ya




I've found a solution.

-Bk-

What happens when you reach a forked road?

Stupid Ming Chal....
I seriously have to avoid both japanese and chinese emo movies.

This has been the start of one of the most emo weekends ever weih.
I've got to get things sorted out.



Because if I don't, I'm going to be stuck at that crossroads forever.

-Bk-