Remembrance.

Its been pretty much 12 years since my grandmum (mum’s side) left.

I roughly remember what it was like when she passed away. It was the first time I dealt with the death of a loved one. Back then I was only 5 (for those of you who didn’t bother to do the math) I can still vaguely remembered how sad everyone was, the roses we dropped onto her coffin as they buried her. Back then, death and loss were subjects that never really hit home with me. Now more than ever, I know what it means. Visited her grave the day my mum was leaving for Australia. Had to wake up at 6.30 to leave to avoid the jam on the way to Nilai Memorial Park.

I don’t remember what the sky was like when she passed away. I wish I did though. It was always a tradition in our family to visit her grave every year, just a little sad that not every member can make it.

Lately I’ve been wondering how our concept of time is so false, not appreciating the fact that we’re still here when in reality, time’s slipping like grains of sand in the palm of our hands – its always been that way. Its just most of us choose to ignore that fact.

Taking myself for instance – I’ve been here for 17 years now. Kindergarten, primary school, and secondary seem so far away now, almost like distant memories. And SPM’s over. So many things have come to an end but so many more things have yet to begin. And before I know it they’ll be over. I kind of regret not appreciating school as much as I should’ve in the past, but there’s nothing I can do about that.

So now I’m going to make it a point, to try and savour every moment I spend, as much as possible.

Because the more I think about it, life’s really worth living.