Tuesday, May 11, 2010

I’ve been thinking a lot lately.

Its been a while since my mind’s been buzzing like is it now. Plenty of thoughts fill my mind. I wonder why my mind’s stayed dormant for so long. I miss reaching into the depths of my thoughts looking for answers I knew I’d never find. But somewhere along the way I’d find answers I never knew I needed.

I’m still thinking a lot, at this very moment. Its 5 minutes past 8 at night and I’m still in college, waiting on a friend to send me home. I’m thinking about how pretty college looks at night, about how the library emits a comforting glow in the evening, and a refuge from the blazing weather in the afternoon. I’m thinking about how some students are able to spend hours on end just going through stacks of books. I’m thinking about how this library makes you feel so damn productive yet so damn lazy, all at the same time. I’m thinking about how expensive it is to eat wantan mee in college. I’m thinking about how weird looking some of the chairs and furniture are.

I’m thinking about how this college is so big, with thousands of students, yet I know only a small fraction, and even smaller figure personally. I’m thinking about the friends I’ve known and met over the years, prior to coming to college, and how they’re doing. I’m thinking about my dog at home who’s waiting for me, wondering why his master is still not back yet. I’m thinking about how I’m going to college tomorrow. I’m thinking about the unfinished assignments I have, and about how computer illiterate I am when it comes to using Microsoft Publisher.

I’m thinking about going to the loo, and also about how lazy I am to pack up my laptop and walk all the way to the nearest one, only to come back and set up my laptop again. Its 12 past 8 now, and I’m thinking about how long my friend’s taking to in her group discussion. I’m thinking about how I could use this time I’m spending right now to write lyrics for my band instead of blogging. I’m thinking about the librarians who work and at what time they have to go home.

All this and more in less than 10 minutes.

Makes you wonder and think even more about what I’m thinking about during the other 18 hours and 50 minutes when I’m awake.

But I find that amidst all this random thinking, amidst all the struggles that I find myself facing despite the fact that I’m still adjusting myself to college, despite the fact that my mind’s wandering off again because I’m alone in the library, that I’m thinking about you. I don’t really know you, but I’m thinking about you nonetheless. There really is something about you that’s drawing me toward you, something I can’t explain.

I wish I had more answers.

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